Taking a Break with Clutter Kitty

Ozzy is apparently above the clutter today. Perched on a bin he supervises and dozes off in between, while B organizes a bunch of stuff from a big chest and other boxes.  Usually Oz is right in the middle of the clutter somewhere but there’s not much room so he chose his spot strategically. I think as long as that spot is close to B, Ozzy is a happy kitty.


{I have more to share about my story and what was behind my apprehension to get so close in helping my siblings care for my father during his illness. It’s already pretty clear if you’ve read the previous two posts, Because of Our Past and Betrayal is a Mother.

But there is more that includes some shame of my own and brings up other memories too. I just thought I’d take a bit of a break with present day so you can see how peaceful it is at the moment. As much as I complain about B, he is an overall good person. And of course the kitty is really cute.}

Lilac Buds

At the house B and I used to live in, there was a small yard. And the people who lived there before us planted a lot of flowers. Every Spring I’d notice the buds and by mid-summer the front and side areas outside the house were full of color.

My favorite though was the lilac tree. It’s my understanding that lilacs grow on bushes. But this was no bush. It was a full fledged tree and in fact had grown tall enough to see more than just the top of it out our second floor window.

The tree would bloom for only a short time so I tried to enjoy it while it lasted. I used to cut off a bud now and then and put it in a cup on our mantle.

Neither B or I have green thumbs. He used to cut the grass and we’d weed and rake now and then. But we definitely didn’t tend to the plant life outside much at all. However the woman who lived there before us has a glowing green thumb. I know this because she is B’s sister in law. His brother, wife and their daughter lived there before we did.

That’s a whole ‘nother story though. So without further ado:

Here’s a picture of just a bud though taken from the ground.



I am frustrated, angry and worried.

I hate dealing with doctors and vets although a much nicer breed (pun) they are still not my favorite people to deal with.

And that’s because if something is wrong that needs extensive testing, and then extensive costs in treatment, I feel like shit when I have to either pick and choose or do nothing because of financial issues.

Ozzy had an ear infection. We had a vet visit, meds given for ear, done, he seems fine.

While we were there though other tests were taken and although the money was there to pay for the labs, we certainly felt it.

Now of course the labs come up with some problems that need more testing.

Hypercalacemia could be an indication of something from his kidney issues, we are already aware of all the way to a symptom of parathyroid cancer. So of course they would need to submit more labs (which carry an additional cost) to dig deeper to find the actual cause of this.

His urine sample came back with blood and white blood cells so to find out what’s causing this, that would take another $125.

He needs his teeth cleaned and with all that’s involved with that we’re looking at over $1000…$1026.12 to be exact. That includes a 90 cent tax. If I didn’t want to cry that would be laughable.

Oh, I almost forgot to include the heart arrhythmia the vet picked up too.

Even if we had the money to pay for all this testing, we’d have to have the money for whatever the treatment is. If he’s got cancer of his parathyroid, that’s surgery to have it removed. And most likely medication after surgery.

There was talk about an MRI for something when I took him in. I can’t remember what that was in reference to, I think his heart.

It’s overwhelming as fuck. And I tend to ignore the follow ups knowing full well the money isn’t there to do anything anyway.And I feel like a shit for saying no to anything the vet recommends.

We don’t have the kind of money to be able to say, “Whatever it takes.”  If we did that, the cat wouldn’t have a place to live because neither would we.

But his health seems to be much more serious now and I am not able to just ignore the follow ups completely. I will need to pick and choose and anything costing $1000 is out of the question.

The only thing we can do at this point is to make the appointment, find out what more is going on and go from there.

I’m so tired of poverty.

I’m closing comments because I know how emotional people can be. I trust those who comment regularly. But if someone new finds this given the key words and gets angry because they think I’m a bad owner for not having the money I need to get all that’s needed done for our cat, well, that’s the shit I don’t want to read.

I feel bad enough already.


Rainbow on the Block

Mr B went out after the heavy rain yesterday to get some shots of the rainbow. The tree you see in the foreground on the right is the tree I see right out my bedroom window.


Completely cropped version below. It must have still been raining a little. You can see a few rain drops.


Panoramic-like view. Don’t mind the telephone pole.

Sleeping Kitty

Our kitty sleeps in funny positions and places. This particular spot and position isn’t the craziest I’ve seen from him but it was entertaining and made me laugh. So I thought I’d share.



Here he is in a reasonable sleeping position. It’s a bit dark, even though I took this late morning. I love how his legs are sticking out off the bed in a scissor-like formation.



Here’s the position that made me laugh. He’s hanging off the bed, most likely chasing the sun but it had moved by this point and most of the light from the sun is behind him.



And here, it’s just a zoomed out version edited to black and white. If you look closely you can see the reflection of his back pitter in the glass of the table.