I Could Really Use Some Advice and Ideas

In September of 2016 I bought a digital program from someone to help with my complex PTSD. She has a YouTube channel with some really good content and within that channel she does some promoting of her program.

Back in 2016 the program was a little over $800. It included modules of PDFs to work through with exercises to do both in life and in writing. It also included guided meditations.

First problem I noticed is that the meditations were not downloadable. Someone else commented about that on the forum she provided for the group and the program creator ignored the comment.

When I started to listen to the recordings, I noticed some sudden sounds in parts of the ones I’d gotten to so far. I recognized them to be the squeaks her chair makes. I recognized them from hearing them in her videos.

In her videos, where she is just talking and educating, the sound was not that bad. But put that shit in a meditation, even someone without hyper-vigilance I imagine would be bothered by this.

I let my codependence get the best of me (being afraid of her reaction to my complaint) and my thinking that this was the answer to my Cptsd and so I didn’t bring it to her attention and ask her to fix it.

When I finally got the guts up to say something and send an email, it was six weeks after the fact and that is the length of the program, or the length of time it takes to get it all sent to your email.

In my original email I told her about the squeaky chair noises and how it startles me out of meditation. I asked if I could either have my money back or for her to fix it.

There was an exchange and she wanted to know the times of when they happened so I went through them and found them and emailed that info to her. She also of course refused to refund me any money, stating, “No after six weeks, you cannot get a refund.”

She also informed me that she would fix the recordings when she got a chance. I knew when she wrote it that it was bullshit and that she would not get to that task.

I’d stopped listening to the recordings long before I sent the email, because I kept getting startled out of the meditation type trance and it would agitate the shit outta me.

Losing that $800 has bothered me all this time. I don’t think constantly about it and I even have forgotten about it for a period of time. But it still comes back into my consciousness and when it does it just bothers me for weeks. And that’s where I am right now.

After all this time, I still want my money back. I think if she’s going to charge that much money for a program with meditations, she at least owes the customer recordings that don’t have squeaky chair noises that send someone with PTSD through the fucking roof. Or anyone for that matter. If you’re charging money for a product, don’t sell someone crap.

That’s my major complaint to be honest, the chair noises, and I’d be happy with half my money back.

Since I’d been thinking about this again, I went to my account to see if I could get in and I couldn’t so I sent an email.

The email stated that I was not able to get in even though I used my correct sign in info. I also included my order number and date of purchase. Then I went into asking if she’d fixed those squeaky chair noises in those recordings and again stated that I’d really like some money back if she hasn’t.

Well, I got two emails back. The first one included a link and said where on the page to log in. The second one said the same but with a subject line that said, “Second email just to be clear…”

And nothing addressing what I’d said about the recordings. Just blew it off and ignored it.

What would really be satisfying at this point is to write a review about those recordings, but my blog gets like no traffic so it’s not gonna get seen here. Where can I post something and get it seen and read. I’d even send her an email with a link to it so she can know exactly how I feel and what I think.

I know I fucked up by not getting in touch upon the first startle on the first recording. I should’ve swallowed my fear and co-dependency and emailed her right away. But she in turn is charging a lot of money for this program. At the very least people buying her program who have an exaggerated startle response might want to know this little detail.

In addition the program has gone up significantly in price and on her website, she states there is no refund at all at any time for anything digital. I’m pretty sure that’s illegal.

 

PS. I don’t need any advice on how I should not buy programs like this online. Believe me. I know. As much money as I’ve spent on so many different things, and after buying that one and having this experience I promised myself never again will I fall for anything or anyone on line marketing their program to heal from PTSD. It turned out also that a lot of what she had in there, I had thought of already.  So it is true to a point, that the answers are inside yourself. Look within.

The advice I am looking for though, is how do I write something and get it to a wide audience? Facebook is not a good choice for me. I know too many people who would just minimize the experience and tell me to just suck it up. It would just hit on deaf ears. They are not my audience.  And if people want to say that here, then I’d prefer you keep it to yourself and think of it as more of a blanket type of advice question.  In general, how do I get anything I write out there to a broader audience?  Thank you.

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18 thoughts on “I Could Really Use Some Advice and Ideas

  1. Are there maybe any general complaints websites where you can leave a complaint about any company/service? Or review sites? I think you want to make sure when people google the name of the program they’ll find your message. Is there an organization that should regulate these online buying things? Maybe you can ask them about that no return policy (if she has that on her website, there must be more complaints too) or give them a signal to look into this.

    Liked by 2 people

    • I checked out Rip Off Report but there’s nothing on there. There was something referring to a woman with a similar name but it was a completely different business. I might be able to write something up on there brand new. I have to look into it though. Good idea.

      Like

  2. If it was on YouTube, complain to them. Maybe they can remove her videos for suspicious and unregulated marketing. If you used PayPal, also complain to them. They can mark her as fraudulent in case others try to buy from her.

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    • unfortunately it wasn’t through Paypal. I was looking up how I paid today and she has some kind of thing set up to take payments herself.

      Not sure I’d call her a fraud though. The program is decent. But those recordings, that was the rip off.

      She has a channel on Youtube but doesn’t sell it through them. She promotes it on some videos but doesn’t sell it through them.

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  3. I would complain through a comment on her YouTube. Especially if she promotes her videos on that channel, anyone reading the comments will see the complaint. Maybe try doing a general google search on “such-and-such reviews” and see if someone has started a thread somewhere. People like my husband will research the crap out of something before he buys it, and read all of the reviews.

    Liked by 1 person

    • The Youtube comment is a good idea. Yeah, not researching was a mistake. But I’ve done some searches to see if anyone else has similar complaints but have found nothing.

      Her YT videos are really good and she hits the nail on the head about a lot of things like narcissistic relationships and relatives, what it’s like to grow up in a gaslighting, manipulative, abusive and narc family. Sigh.
      Despite my small readership I may write about it here anyway.

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    • Oh and just to add, the reason I was commenting on her videos and the topics and how she nails it, is because I did a stupid thing by just thinking that was an indication that she is trustworthy and an ethical business person. Lesson learned there. I was desperate. I’m pretty sick of the PTSD and having no help. But fuck if I’ll buy another program that promises to heal. It’s all bullshit.

      Liked by 1 person

  4. How about the better business bureau ? And definitely comment on her youtube site although she may take it down.
    I would have done the same. Not been able to send an email with the complaint until much longer than you did. Takes me forever to be able to do things like that. I also never could have done a meditation with a squeaky chair. I mean that is crap and not professional.
    I would have bought her stuff because at this point I want to try all avenues of ways to get better but to get ripped off like that. Oh I’d be pissed. On google is there a way to rate her? Where does she sell her product that you could give it a rating and comment?

    Liked by 1 person

    • The youtube comment is such a great idea. Problem is on that platform, it’s easy to be viewed as a troll. And to be completely honest, I’m nervous about it…the codependence is strong in this. I’ve still been wanting to email her back about all this for not acknowledging that issue in that last email I sent but I have not felt all that strong within myself.

      Her name is Lisa Romano. Her YT channel is pretty popular. I’m not telling you this to go troll her comment section…lol…just so that if you run into the program, I want you to know which one it is. I’ve also been wanting to write an entire post about all details of the exchange etc. and include her name but just have not been wanting to blog all that much. I have been cleaning up around here, still trying to figure out what to eat that won’t make me feel like a truck hit me the next day (I think I have something significant figured out finally) and helping B run errands here and there. The BBB is a good idea too. I had not thought of that. As for a comment on google somewhere, I have not been able to find her product.

      Also, she does promote the program on her YT channel periodically so on those relevant videos is the place to comment for sure.

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      • Just sent you an email with a link. I found that she writes books and there are comments on the books and they mention her cd but nothing about the noises yet, just that the book itself seems narcissistic which i thought was a very strange thing to say about a book written by someone who does cds FOR this behavior .
        I couldnt find her meditation cds on google either but just her books.

        Liked by 2 people

        • You can only get to the audio/meditations through her program on her website. They aren’t even downloadable. You have to sign with user id and password once you’ve bought (into) the program.

          I’ve seen that review you’re talking about…on Amazon right? Lisa went back and forth with the woman who wrote that review too.

          I had bought her book and then read that review later. I was still missing red flags at that point, mostly because of desperation I think. I really wanted to believe her. If you listen to her videos she is very personable and believable.

          All that probably did happen to her. But it is pretty common knowledge that those who come from narcissistic backgrounds tend to be narcissistic, whether they know it or not.

          I went out on an errand today and was thinking about all the money I spent on programs and ebooks and coaches and self proclaimed gurus. It’s ridiculous and I promised myself after buying Lisa’s program and feeling ripped off because of that intrusive noise and her non-chalant response (Oh I’ll fix it when I have a chance) that I would never buy a program again. Ever.

          And I almost got sucked in again when Richard Grannon came out with his. But then I detected the red flags. He did a video ad to promote it and it was one of those videos that you had to watch all of. You couldn’t fast forward it. And you couldn’t see how long it was. And it wasn’t til the end of the video that you could finally click the link to buy the program that he charged (at the time) about a thousand bucks.

          Luckily I didn’t have that money but also I read through comments and there were some people who were writing things I was thinking.

          It’s all about the money. I give up on that shit.

          That being said, I don’t have a problem with people making money but that shit should be reasonable. And the creator needs to stand behind it, no matter how long after purchase. Even those who’ve been traumatized by their FOOs are now creating products and preying off of those still hurting and desperate for help. It’s unconscionable. I could buy a brand new car with the money I’ve spent over time on programs and coaches.

          Liked by 1 person

          • At least you notice the red flags now.
            I reach points where I want to try something again and then almost fortunately it costs a fortune and that turns me away.
            I paid thousand of dollars for a nutritionist for my daughter. Pft is all I have to say about that. They all make big claims and don’t give you your money back when their claims fail

            Liked by 1 person

        • So I made a mistake on the book. I have another book of hers called Codependent now What? It’s Not You It’s Your Programming.”

          And I’m also not sure about where I saw that banter between reviewer and author. I read some of those one stars and now I’m reading the pages they let you read on Amazon.

          It’s interesting the way she writes. She writes in metaphors instead of straightforward , at least the couple pages I’ve read so fat. It’s kind of annoying in a book that’s supposed to be a memoir. It just strikes me as she’s trying to hard to be a good writer.

          About the memoir…although I do think it’s common to be narcissistic if you come from a narc family, I’m also not sure on calling the book coming across as narcissistic.

          So I’m not a big fan of hers anymore, obviously, given what’s happened with her program. I think what she put out is unprofessional and even unethical. However, when it comes to memoirs, they are supposed to be about the person who writes it. So it would stand to reason that it would be about her. So in that I would not call her narcissistic. But I don’t know the whole content so I can’t completely review it obviously. I just wanted to say that because Iv’e read some memoirs for entertainment and because I wanted to know about that person. It was entertainment.

          In her description she writes what seems like a blog post and says what you need to do to heal. so maybe that gives the impression that she tells people how to do that in the book, when it’s just her story.

          That being said, she does have other books that are self help books, one of which I do have as I said. I l think I will still go ahead and read it and give it a review and then perhaps bring up the audio issue in her program and see if I get her attention.

          Liked by 2 people

        • Okay so I finished the pages I was able to read on Amazon and to be honest, I want to finish it. It’s written good enough and after the intro she stops with the metaphors and gets totally into telling the story.

          And as I said, I’m interested to know more. She does tell some stuff in her videos, and for all I know she’s told the whole story by now but I don’t watch them anymore.

          I can relate to some of it too as she was the oldest of three and has one brother and one sister…same as me. She fought with her brother but worshipped her sister, same as me.

          So anyway, I guess the bad reviews come from wanting a self help book and getting a memoir.

          That doesn’t change my disappointment in the audio and my opinion that it’s unprofessional, but the book is okay so far.

          Liked by 1 person

          • I wondered what you thought of the book. She doesnt have it labeled as self help but people seemed to expect that.
            But right,true, has nothing to do with the audio crap and her not paying you back. She should have offered you something KNOWING who her clients are and what theyve been through youd think she would have some integrity

            Liked by 2 people

          • Hi Aura. Oh my gosh this situation is so wrong. You spent $800 for a meditation series to treat CPTSD and it has random chair squeak noises!?! That would definitely startle me out of meditation. She needs to FIX IT. An audio tech person could get rid of those squeaks in no time. With the amount of money she charges, she needs to hire someone to get that taken care of. And, she definitely owes you a full refund.

            What you are saying about the negative reviews for her book being because people are expecting a memoir to be self-help — I have seen a lot of those kinds of reviews on memoirs. Thanks for the reminder that I need to put an author’s note in the front of my book, stating that it is a memoir and not self-help. If I ever get my book finished, that is. Whew… it’s not easy to write about all this stuff! That’s why I took another break from blogs, trying to focus on writing Growing Up CrAzY.

            Regarding your concern that judgmental types may find fault with you for spending that kind of money on programs to treat PTSD — Friend, I think you are AWESOME for doing that. This shows how serious you are about wanting to heal and grow and be your best self! Truly, that is awesome!

            Liked by 1 person

            • Oh my gosh! It is so great to see a comment from you. I have been thinking about you and went to email one night and then got into reading your blog instead. It got pretty late and then I could not think well enough to compose an email. I’m so glad that you are okay.

              So onto this topic. I love your thought process on how spending that kind of money indicates my seriousness of healing. That is a great way to look at it. Thank you.

              Unfortunately it has gotten me nowhere and I will not do that again. I also agree that she needs to make it right. At this point, I don’t want to have anything to do with anything of hers though because of how disgusted I feel about this particular situation so I really just want my money back.

              And again, you are right, an audio tech could easily fix it. It should’ve been done before she put the product out there. I can’t believe no one else has complained about it. Of course I have no way of knowing though if they have or not.

              As for ppl thinking the memoir was self help, it seemed from a particular comment I saw it’s because of the subtitle. I could see how it could be misleading to people looking for some help in this area. I would’ve taken it that way myself.

              I have another book of hers and went and dug it out of the box it was in, in the garage. I was going to read it and give it a review on Amazon and then bring up the meditations there. But that doens’t feel right either. Plus I don’t even want to look at her book let alone read it.

              Liked by 1 person

              • Awww! Thank you for making me feel so welcome! I really appreciate that a lot.

                Yes, I totally get your feeling about not wanting anything to do with Lisa Romano’s books, after her utter lack of empathy and non-professionalism regarding the startling chair squeaks on her $800 “healing meditations.” I feel the same way, now. I don’t get on YouTube much, so I had never heard of Lisa Romano. But after reading this post and the comments, I went to Amazon and read the sample portion of her memoir. It is interesting, and I would be willing to spring for the $7.99 plus tax to download the book to my Kindle, but — not after reading this.

                I was also turned off by her replies to the negative reviews. Whenever I see an author answering back on negative reviews, I think “how childish” and “how unprofessional.” I read a lot, and I’ve read scores of Amazon book reviews. Honestly, even the very best mega bestseller books, have at least a few scathing negative reviews. You simply cannot please everyone all the time. Also, a good percentage of the negative reviews that I have seen were clearly written by narcissistic or sociopathic trolls, people who can’t write, so they make themselves feel big by criticizing people who can. It’s like how every great YouTube video that I have ever seen, has at least a few Dislikes. Some people are just haters, hello!

                I don’t remember if I ever told you, but I wrote and published a novel 18 years ago, under a different pen name. I looked at my Amazon reviews one time, many years ago. The few that were there were all positive, the lowest being a 4 star at the time. But, I have not been back to read my reviews since then. I don’t know how many years it has been since I even looked at my Amazon page. My husband told me a couple of years or so ago that I should really go read my book reviews, that they were all still positive. But… something inside of me just says NO WAY!

                I guess I am not normal in that, I don’t know. The thing is, my writing style and my belief system have evolved since I wrote that novel so long ago. If I were to write it today, it would be a very different book. Even if it is all fiction.

                So yes, we can’t expect our writing to please everyone. Eventually, our writing won’t even please us anymore, ya know? Taste in writing style is very subjective. For this reason, I think the only time that it makes sense for an author to reply to a negative review, would be to offer a refund.

                By the way, I had to change my cell phone # recently, because I very stupidly called my mother for the first time in years. A beautiful birthday card lured me in. Plus I was thinking that — thanks to my neurofeedback treatments — I could surely handle her, now. Provided that I walked very carefully across the thin ice. But I was wrong, I cannot deal with that woman. She has gotten even worse with age.

                But anyway, I won’t go into all of that again, I told you some about it already in a comment that I left earlier today, on one of your other posts.

                It’s good to be talking with you again… but, I need to get back to writing my memoir. Augh!! Writing a fictional romance medical thriller years ago was super easy, compared to this!

                Liked by 1 person

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