It is a rare event for me to lie. I don’t know, maybe I lie at times and don’t realize it. Some humans do this. Maybe I’ve done it. I used to lie a lot when I was a kid. It actually came kind of easy to me too. I could look my mom right in the eye and lie and get away with it.
I stopped doing that when there was really no reason to do so anymore. But also because I began feeling guilty for it and I hated that feeling.
I certainly still tell the occasional white lie to spare feelings if no harm is done.
Besides, most stories are told from a point of view, which is perspective and so may or may not be accurate.
OK, now I just sound like I’m making excuses, and I’m not really. I’m not apologizing or asking to be judged on this, but I told a blatant lie. And standing in my own judgment and giving myself validation, I did it for a damn good reason.
It wasn’t just for the sake of lying. I know some people do that. Their default is simply to lie, even if they don’t need to or if the truth would suit them better. But in my case, no. As an adult, I’ve even been accused of being “too honest.”
So I thought about that and then asked myself, “Well, how is that really working for ya? Especially when it comes to this lady.”
And the conclusion I came to is that it’s not.
I still knew that things would not exactly work out in my favor, which would have been to feel heard and understood about my concern about the wasp. But this woman is completely incapable of that. So my interest was simply in being a voice for myself and not backing down. Even though she is obviously the one with all the power, being the property owner.
She truly has the skill of minimizing down to a fucking T. So I expected nothing less (or more) when I texted her to tell her that I found a wasp in the window of our living room.
Here’s the conversation/text exchange:
Me: Wanted to give you a heads up that I just saw a wasp in our front living room window. I shut it and I think I have it trapped but wondering if there [are] more where that one came from.
Her: I don’t think one wasp is cause for worry. Let me know if you see several more.
Me: I’m allergic so any amount is cause for concern.
Her: I don’t understand why you felt it necessary to tell me then. Unless you suspect that there is a nest on the property, and one wasp is no indication that there is, there is nothing I can do about it.
Me: As a tenant it was my understanding we are supposed to tell a landlord such things. I am confused by your confusion. I’ve had this experience before and the landlord on 2 occasions checked his property for a nest. Not that I am telling you to do that but clearing up your confusion. I guess [I] thought any property owner would want to catch something like that early. My mistake.
Her: As I said before, if you see several buzzing around your window, let me know. However, if I call someone and there’s no nest, you will be responsible.
I wish…so wish, there was a middle finger key to send back to her.
But instead I answered back: I will do that. But wasps aside, I don’t understand how that becomes our responsibility. That’s a new one to me.
Her: You are responsible only if your complaint costs money for a false alarm, e.g. having someone come out to get rid of a wasp next that doesn’t exist. Enough said on the matter. We’ll address it if or when it applies.
So in case you didn’t catch the lies, and how would you, since you don’t know me, I will tell you.
I am not allergic…as far as I know. But then, I’ve never been stung by a wasp, only bees.
Saying I’d had the same basic experience before at all, let alone on 2 occasions with other landlords is also not true.
As I said, she is a pro at minimizing shit I tell her about when there’s some sort of problem, concerning the apartment.So I felt these extra pieces would give me a bit more leverage if nothing else.
She did make a point to let us know from the beginning, before we even moved in… “if anything goes wrong or if there is any problem, don’t try to fix it yourself. Call or text me and I’ll take care of it.”
But when I do, the above is a good example as to how she responds. And once again I felt like she was minimizing so instead of remaining silent and boiling over, I chose to lie.
Of course being the the low level narcissist I suspect she is, she is master at that ping-pong game they seem to love to play and knew how to minimize and confuse the conversation as well as hit me where she believes it hurts…in the wallet.
What a fucking circus. I can’t seem to get away from them.
I wanted to sweat it out for a couple more years here but I don’t think my sanity will survive. I don’t want to deal with the stress of moving so soon but if that’s what’s necessary then so fucking be it.
We will see. I don’t have the final say.
So! If you’ve made it this far and you’re not sure if this woman is the asshole I think she most likely is, read through the comments. I respond to other people’s comments with more of the story and her behavior.