Here’s one possible answer for my question from this post.
She starts talking about bullies and being bullied at about 8 minutes in.
You could argue that it’s denying, ignoring or being callous. And in certain situations it probably is. But I like the idea of ‘getting up and doing something about it’, at least as much as you can, as opposed to trying nothing, continuing to be angry without using the anger to propel forward in life.
But I can tell you what I’ve been doing isn’t working when it comes to having compassion and empathy for certain people. I think that my compassion, sympathy and empathy got me further abused in life at times.
There are things I disagree with from what she’s saying though. I do think that some therapists do have empathy. I’ve read about them from other bloggers right here on WP. She also states in the video that therapists offer solutions. And that’s also not always true. I’ve had therapists stare at me blankly. I’ve had therapists ask further questions, perhaps to help me with my own solutions.
Updating this on 7/23/17, it seems that I have finally been offered solutions from a DBT therapist. And since I’ll be starting the group portion of this therapy in a few days, I expect that being taught certain skills will empower me to do something about what I don’t like about my life. So in that aspect, I do think it’s more beneficial to attack the problem and be proactive in solving things, rather than continue to cry about it.
That being said however, I do think that there is benefit to holding space to listen, acknowledge the other person’s pain and give the validation that the person may have never received. Validation is quite healing.
Especially when it comes to children, I feel that a parent needs to take the time to physically get down to the level of the child, listen, acknowledge, validate, hug the child and THEN say, “Let’s go fix it.”
She also mentions distraction as a solution. In my opinion I think that can be helpful. But it’s not a permanent solution.