Dudes Be Too Pushy

pushy dudeTonight I got a private message (PM) on Facebook from a guy I vaguely know. We’ll call him Aggressive Guy #1 (AG!1) for this post.

We have some mutual friends from a sport we both have played in the past at the same place. We have connected a little on Facebook, PMing back and forth a bit talking about getting together. We exchanged phone numbers and immediately he started texting me.

The first text was to let me know that if I wanted to reach him, to text him because he’s not on Facebook much. There were a couple more and none of them were questions and didn’t indicate needing to be answered so I read them and left them.

I was also a bit annoyed that he would send three texts in a row so quickly after exchanging numbers.

Eager much?

I gave it a week or so and called AG1 on a weekend day…one of the last nice days before it got really cold. He’d suggested during our messaging on FB a walk around a particular trail in the area, that I’ve been wanting to walk around (he didn’t know this) but have been a little afraid to walk alone. When he mentioned it I thought, not only would it be fun, but now I could walk the trail, get to know someone new and feel safe.

So that was what I had in mind when I called him.
It turns out he was in the middle of a painting job with a deadline and he’d be working all weekend. He seemed a bit surprised and let me know he’d tried to get in touch but I wasn’t receptive.

Receptive is my word to paraphrase the idea he had gotten across to me. I forget exactly what he said. But it was said in this sort of reprimanding and condescending way, “Well, I tried to reach you but you wouldn’t answer” and “If only you’d been available when I texted and called you…”

Maybe I’m reading WAY more into that but it’s what came to mind as he spoke. He could only be referring to those three texts he shot off almost immediately after I gave him my number. “Is he serious?” I thought.

Unexpectedly, he called back within the hour, leaving a message and explained himself, “I had my hands full, I just couldn’t talk right then. If you get this within the hour give me a call back.”   The explanation sounded like he was talking to someone who’d gotten upset with him when he couldn’t talk. And I’d been completely understanding and quite frankly rather indifferent.

We haven’t spoken since and he’s not on FB too much but I saw a post that he’d started some class. Obviously this would make him even more busy. But really I didn’t think much of it and I moved on. Not dating wise, just that I didn’t give him much more thought.

Then tonight, maybe about an hour ago, I’d made a comment under a mutual friend’s post that he’d made a comment under. And moments later I see I have a PM.  It was AG1.

He wrote, “In class, call me at around 9:45.”

My first thought was that I’m not gonna feel like talking to anyone at that time. But I really don’t want to talk to him at all. I’ve lost what little interest that had been there in the first place.

I wrote back, “I’ll be in bed…sleeping.”

And then I signed off.

His communication seemed too pushy to me. It would’ve been nicer to say, “Hey, I get out of class at 9:45 can I call you?”  I still would’ve said no, but I may have suggested an alternative day and time if he’d been less aggressive.

Aggressive Guy number 2. (AG2)

AG2, before he got aggressive, and I got into a comment exchange about rock bands and other music on one of his posts., I know him from high school and we were in the same graduating class. He apparently got excited that I was able to finish lyrics to songs and all that and after having a fun time with that he pretty much ruined it for me by posting on my wall..

“We MUST get together.”

Whatever happened to asking?

Not that that would’ve changed my answer. I’m not interested. At the risk of being offensive, I’d like to add…this approach is much different coming from a gay dude or another woman.